Saturday, October 23, 2004

No, you still can't come inside.

     At the bar I work at, a fair percentage of would-be customers are under the legal consumption age of 21. People give me fake ID's constantly, and I always turn them away; that is one of the jobs that my boss pays me money to do. Very often, after refusal of his ID, and being asked for a second form of indentification, the scamp will protest about having lost various other forms of identification for various reasons such as, but not limited to:


      Lost or stolen wallet

      general drunken stupidity

      just generally not possessing any other form of ID, i.e.
      a student ID, credit card, library card, social security card,
      Kroger card, voter registration card, or check book.

For god's sake, if any of these people are murdered, I hope their teeth are left intact.

      Eventually, many people resort to asking me "What difference does it make to you if I go in?" or "Can't you just let me in? My friends are all in there." Then I always explain to them that I am just doing the job my boss pays me to do, and for all I personally care, they can drink themselves to death. However, since I am being paid to not let them drink, I just can't let them in. For some reason these people have forgotten about Thomas Hobbes and seventh grade philosophy class. A social contract exists to ensure that ultimately people are treated fairly. Among these points is the agreement to perform adequately the job one is paid for, and to pay adequately for the job that is performed.

      Were it up to me guys and dolls, you could drink yourselves to suicides, abortions, and bar fights; because I do not give a flying fuck about any of you. Unfortunately for us both, my job is stop those things from happening, and you must understand that.

I am a door man.

Some people are door men.