Sunday, October 24, 2004

Does anyone want to take bets?

I am willing to wager that the election in November gets screwed up. My guesses are: ballot fraud, improper receipt of overseas ballots (from G.I.s for instance), or maybe electronic voting machine fraud. I don't really think that there is any likelihood of any of those things happening any more often than usual, but I bet after having the results decided by the Supreme Court in the last election, either losing party in '04 will contest the ballots.

oh, and also; Bush, Jeb and the missus landed a helicopter on the training field of the Boston Red Sox on Saturday. Dubya emerged from the helicopter to the stadium's loudspeakers playing the theme to Top Gun. Seriously. The President of the United States of America landed a helicopter on a baseball field, and walked out to "Top Gun Anthem" by Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens from the hit 1986 feature starring Tom Cruise and the delightful Kelly McGillis. It reminds me of the time that Winston Churchill rode a jet bike over Snake River Canyon and onto the Dover cliffs to "New Sensation" by INXS, the theme of 1988's License to Drive; no, actually, it does not.

Also;
Dear Cnn.Com; BoSox is not an acceptable abbreviation for the Boston Red Sox. Red Sox, or simply Boston, will do fine. Richard Bentley is dead, you aren't paying by the word now Wolf.

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Saturday, October 23, 2004

No, you still can't come inside.

     At the bar I work at, a fair percentage of would-be customers are under the legal consumption age of 21. People give me fake ID's constantly, and I always turn them away; that is one of the jobs that my boss pays me money to do. Very often, after refusal of his ID, and being asked for a second form of indentification, the scamp will protest about having lost various other forms of identification for various reasons such as, but not limited to:

      DUI

      Lost or stolen wallet

      general drunken stupidity

      just generally not possessing any other form of ID, i.e.
      a student ID, credit card, library card, social security card,
      Kroger card, voter registration card, or check book.

For god's sake, if any of these people are murdered, I hope their teeth are left intact.


      Eventually, many people resort to asking me "What difference does it make to you if I go in?" or "Can't you just let me in? My friends are all in there." Then I always explain to them that I am just doing the job my boss pays me to do, and for all I personally care, they can drink themselves to death. However, since I am being paid to not let them drink, I just can't let them in. For some reason these people have forgotten about Thomas Hobbes and seventh grade philosophy class. A social contract exists to ensure that ultimately people are treated fairly. Among these points is the agreement to perform adequately the job one is paid for, and to pay adequately for the job that is performed.

      Were it up to me guys and dolls, you could drink yourselves to suicides, abortions, and bar fights; because I do not give a flying fuck about any of you. Unfortunately for us both, my job is stop those things from happening, and you must understand that.

I am a door man.

Some people are door men.

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

America The Brute-iful

Today on The Daily Show, Ed Koch said "although I do not support the President on any of his domestic policies that I am aware of, I feel that the country's number one job right now is to fight international terror."

This is absolutely ridiculous. It is not the primary job of the United States government to "fight international terror". The primary job of the goverment is to ensure the quality of life and safety of its citizens, fighting international crime is James Bond's job. Certainly, making the world safer is an extension of making America safe, but it certainly does not supercede domestic issues such as healthcare, unemployment, and a shit economy.

The job of "fighting international terror" is the primary concern for certain organizations outside of the United States government such as The United Nations, NATO, and the Fantastic Four.


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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

My Girlfriend is an Internet Celebrity

Bunny Mcintosh's blog, Melting Dolls.com is featured in a new article in Athens' Flagpole Magazine.

You can read the article and see the pictures here.

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Monday, October 11, 2004

ThreePirates


ThreePirates.com

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